I’ve reached the 7 day mark and this makes me not nearly half as hot or half as dangerous, in terms of radioactivity at least! I feel so lucky with my treatment because I’ve had no symptoms but I still feel a bit cheated that I haven’t glowed. Not one bit! It feels like I’ve reached a radioactive milestone, I have heaps more freedom in terms of what I can do and where I can go, use public transport, go to restaurants, go to the mall but… I do still have to steer clear of kids and pregnant women. One person I don’t have to steer clear of now is David, so it’s hugs ahoy! I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed my cuddles!
The 7 day marker also means I can eat iodine again! So I start celebrating at breakfast with peanut butter on toast. Let’s start as I mean to go on!
My psychologist recommended some good reads for me. Books are notoriously expensive here so I always order mine from the Book Depository. I’ve been waiting for my order for a while but it only arrived yesterday. I’m well into A Man’s Search for Meaning and can’t put it down. I have to finish Part One before I can get up and face the day. The book is written by Victor Frankl, a psychologist who survived four concentration camps and it’s totally compelling. The foreword to the book is written by a rabbi, Harold S Kushner. I keep thinking about what he says is Frankl’s “most enduring insight…. You cannot control what happens in your life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.” This philosophy can be applied to so many life experiences and I find it fits my current situation perfectly. I’m always banging on about how I love to control things, well, there it is in a nutshell, I can’t control my cancer, but I can control how I’m going to respond to it. This is really empowering and it gives me an enormous sense of strength and courage.
It’s my last free day before I go back to work so I want to use it constructively. I do some chores in the morning, meet my friend Glen for coffee and then it’s back to the GP. This time I want her to check a mole on my arm. I’m not sure if it’s dodgy or not, but in light of recent events, I’m not really wanting to leave anything to chance. I can’t bear to think how things would have panned out if I hadn’t gone to the GP about that lump in my neck, and then for that ultrasound in March. Anyway, she doesn’t think it’s anything sinister but she refers me to a dermatologist just to be sure to be sure. I tell her, I hope she doesn’t think I’ve got Munchausen’s’ and that I’m attention seeking with a new random ailment! When I think about how many doctors I’ve visited recently, it freaks me out, I can honestly say, that I think I’ve had more doctors appointments this year, than I’ve had in my whole life! And it’s not even December yet! I wish my GP and her lovely secretary, Happy Christmas, as I have no intention of going back for the foreseeable future!
It’s a glorious day so when David gets home we celebrate my lack of radioactivity with a big hug and some sundown ciders on the balcony! I notice that one of my just cleaned chairs is already covered in cobwebs! Those spiders sure are busy! I wonder where they get their energy from. I wish I knew!
