Last Monday I heard about a possible job opportunity. On Tuesday I went for an informal interview for a job that may or may not materialise. On Wednesday I handed in my notice. On Thursday I packed up my desk. And on Friday I left my job of seven years. It was the longest job I ever had.
My decision to leave wasn’t exactly sudden. I told my boss I wanted to leave in December 2013. I really did want to leave but I really didn’t do anything about it.
Every time I saw my psychologist or met up with friends, they would always ask, “so have you left yet?” Even my boss seemed surprised that I remained in situ.
The thing is I used to really love my job, like really love it sick. When I was having cancer treatment, being not able to go to work was one of the things that sucked most. I couldn’t wait to go back.
Nothing stays the same though. Our company got taken over and everything changed. Not for the better either. I just kind of fell out of love with my job. It broke my heart because I’d loved it so. I didn’t love it and I didn’t love doing it, but I figured I’d loved it so much before, maybe I could love it again.
But I couldn’t. And do you know the one thing that stopped me from moving on? Fear. Fear of change.
I was afraid of working in a different part of town, of building relationships with new workmates (and leaving the lovely ones I have,) of learning new things. I was even afraid of leaving my barista. (No one makes coffee like Claudia. Just saying!)
The possible job opportunity was my lightbulb moment. That’s when I realised all the things that I was so afraid of were actually the things I needed to embrace. Steph’s words were ringing in my ears “change doesn’t happen without change.”
Sometimes, you just have to take that leap of faith and trust yourself enough that things will pan out. I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do. But I do know whatever it is, I’m going do what I love and I’m going to love doing it. Because life is too short for anything else.
PS The job did materialise. And I’m starting today. Eeeep! Wish me luck!
Have you ever taken the leap? Do you face off with your fear or does it hold you back? On a scale of 1-10, how much are you loving what you do right now?
